Perfectly Intolerable
by ncfan
Summary: Ukitake just knew this would happen if they ever ended up meeting. Takes place in the same universe as 'The Houseguest'.


**Characters**: Ishida, Nanao**  
Summary**: Ukitake just knew this would happen if they ever ended up meeting. Takes place in the same universe as 'The Houseguest'.**  
Pairings**: None**  
Warnings/Spoilers**: None**  
Timeline**: Takes place a day or so after the events of _The Houseguest._**  
Author's Note**: Takes place in the same universe as _The Houseguest._ Read it first; this will make absolutely no sense otherwise. You know, somehow writing about two characters who have never canonically met almost never fails to give me warm feelings inside. Maybe it's the satisfaction that comes after writing crack.**  
Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

Awkward silences are something that, naturally, they are both good at. And what certainly doesn't help is that neither of them are all that good at talking to people that they don't know, Nanao's more than a little annoyed at being denied entry, Ishida's highly miffed at being kicked out of his own apartment, and they _both_ find the uncanny physical resemblance they bear each other to be a bit creepy. In fact, for the first fifteen minutes that they've been banished to, they keep sneaking gawking, leery looks at each other when the other isn't looking.

Nanao fidgets self-consciously with her skirt hem; she and her captain have both decided to travel incognito. She's noticeably ill at ease, sitting beside Ishida on the ledge of the sidewalk outside his apartment door.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience." Ishida is a little surprised when she seems to feel the need to try and apologize for her captain's behavior. "Kyouraku-taicho has never been very perceptive when it comes to propriety." Ishida says nothing, and Nanao narrows her eyes slightly, uncomfortable. "I'm sure we won't be out here long."

Finally, Ishida decides to say something, staring up at the darkening sky moodily. "I should hope so. I've still got homework to finish."

Blue-violet eyes turn on him, slightly wide and, Ishida takes note, surprised. "You're still in high school?"

"Yes…"

"Oh." Nanao looks down, eyebrows rising into her bangs for a short while before falling. "You're…younger than I thought you were," she murmurs lamely, by way of explanation.

He's heard that before. And, somehow, Ishida still manages to find it annoying.

They fall back into silence again; this is usually the result of two introverts getting together, but Ishida and Nanao are taking it into extremes. Nanao continues to twist the knee-length hem of her khaki skirt in her adroit fingers (Ishida wonders if this is some sort of nervous twitch or if she is just _that_ uncomfortable with the situation she's in now) and Ishida just stares, frowning, up at the sky stained deep cerulean blue and paler lavender near the horizon.

Nothing's said.

Sounds of laughter come from inside the apartment, and Ishida cranes his head around, frowning slightly. Well, not frowning so much as scowling. It's _his_ apartment, his home; he shouldn't be booted out by the _guests_, damn it!

"Do they do this often?" Ishida asks pointedly, throwing his gaze back towards the door and the curtained window, irritation showing through with painful clarity.

Nanao shrugs, a graceless gesture, and nods slightly. "Yes, but they don't usually shoo everyone else out of the room before they get down to companionship and consumption—of alcohol," she adds as an afterthought, seeing Ishida raise an eyebrow speculatively.

"Ah." The tone he gives off probably gives Nanao the impression that he isn't entirely convinced. "I see."

Nanao tilts her head to one side as if in annoyance, but seems to refrain from saying anything. Not even a weak defense of her captain's habits escapes her lips, and Ishida can tell that she just can't stomach the words. Too polite to be brutally honest, but too principled to lie for the sake of appearances.

And just when Ishida thinks that they're going to lapse back into _another_ awkward silence, Nanao springs to her feet, fists clenched, pale face crinkled in irritation. "Okay, I think you and I can both agree that this is just not working at all. The discomfort is so thick that if I drew my zanpakuto right here and now I could probably carve, I don't know, _smiley faces_ in the air!"

Though he doesn't always follow his own advice, Ishida has learned that when people rant, it's best to just let them vent until they've lost steam. At least it will give them something to do other than feel uncomfortable.

She goes on. "Please tell me we're going to talk about something other than the weather tonight. I can't stand talking about something that's plainly obvious."

Ishida nods and Nanao sits down, still breathing a little hard, hands clenched into fists resting on her legs.

That's where the conversation _really_ begins.

"I'm going to take it that you're in this position a bit more often than you'd like." Ishida's voice is brittle; not angry at her, just annoyed by the situation in general.

Nanao nods vigorously. "Too often. I'm always having to do this; chase after Kyouraku-taicho and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Or bring the house down. Or slip into an alcoholic coma. The man likes his sake, and his plum wine."

"That hardly seems like appropriate behavior."

"It's not! He's the captain of the Eighth division, for God's sake! Is it too much to ask that he behave with just a little propriety? _Is it_?"

"It shouldn't be. Just like it shouldn't be too much to ask to let us back inside. The living room isn't the only room in there."

"Oh, believe me, I don't want to be stuck out here any more than you do. You've essentially been temporarily evicted; you can't even imagine how mortified I was when Kyouraku-taicho pushed us both out the door."

"Well why don't you do something about it?"

"Believe me, I've tried, but there's no reasoning with that man sometimes…"

An hour or so later finds Ukitake and Shunsui opening the door to see Nanao and Ishida commiserating—loudly—on the situation they find themselves in.

When they hear the door creaking open, all chatter stops, and they both crane their heads around, giving virtually identical looks of neutral innocence to the two captains.

While Shunsui only gapes at them both (_"What on earth…"_), Ukitake falls back against the doorframe, howling with laughter.

He's always suspected this would happen if Ishida and Nanao were ever to meet. It's a nice feeling to be proved right.

* * *

With the introvert comment up near the top, I'm an introvert, and usually whenever I meet another introvert that's (awkward silences, then finding solid ground) what ends up happening, so I can speak from personal experience.


End file.
